a practice as opposed to a feeling

It’s kind of a rough day for me. I am feeling trapped, stuck, unable to move forward. I feel claustrophobic. Reality is sneaking up on me and new plans are not unfolding. God is reminding me to rely on Him, to wait on Him, to trust Him. Today marks the beginning of the end for me. Yesterday, I sat down with my calendar and came to the realization that I only have a month’s worth of four day weekends left. I am looking at the calendar and seeing the increased amount of time on the road commuting to work and the decreased amount of time in the air flying to see friends. Yet, I know that God will provide for the things He wants to accomplish in my life. It’s just hard to accept that it’s not in my timing. God has not forgotten about me, He has not left me in this chapter of my life in vain. He is accomplishing something in my heart and in my life, and maybe He is still accomplishing something through me in this season.

So to quote one of my favorite authors, “I absolutely believe that gratitude is a way of life, a practice as opposed to a feeling, and I want to be the kind of person who chooses to be grateful for what is instead of angry about what isn’t.”

So, I am choosing gratitude. I am choosing to be thankful. Even though I feel like curling up and crying, I am choosing to defend my heart against Satan’s attacks and complacency. God has provided for me. He will continue to provide for me. So instead of mediating on how stuck I feel, I will notice the little things; little things like a great play list in iTunes, text messages from sweet friends in Colorado, coffee this morning with one of my favorites, the dog who follows me around the house with her bone, the beautiful sunshine and spring air, hiking with a long-time friend, inspiring facebook statuses, the house to myself for a couple hours, a purpose and a calling in life, a Savior who came to redeemed my whole life and give me joy abundant. May I honor and glorify Him today!!