So, its not any news that God has been teaching me a lot about patience lately... I am coming to a point (and its only taken me 26 years to get there) when I think that I am finally starting to understand what it means to be dependent on God and rely on Him for His plan for my life.
I absolutely love when God speaks to me and I am being attentive enough to listen. I recently started reading the book of Luke and I love what God is revealing to me. In the first chapter of Luke, God opened my eyes to something that was so encouraging to my heart.
Now, it is probably not surprising to anyone who knows me that the life I am living today is not exactly the one I would have chosen for myself. Never in a million years was being a paramedic part of my plan, much less living in Albert Lea and working as interim ministry staff for a church. My plans were to be married and raising a small brood of children by now. And as I watch friend after friend marry and move to this whole new stage of life that often leaves me and my friendship behind, I have asked God, "When is it my turn?? I have listened, I have obeyed, why is it me who feels like I just don't have a place to belong"
You see, the problem is that I just don't understand God's timing - I know He has a plan for me and I know He wants whats best for me - But, my heart so often asks the question "God, don't you know how hard this is?" I have always done my very best to make the most of the situation God has given me. Being single doesn't mean I will sit around and wait for life to start - No, God has blessed me too much to take on that attitude. So, instead, I have traveled, I have done missions, I have done my best to minister to others, I have served His people and His church and I have loved every minute of it. But yet, the question remains - "God, don't you know how hard this is for me??
Then on a quiet Tuesday morning during my time with God, He revealed something to me. In the first chapter of his book, Luke tells us about a lovely elderly couple named Zechariah and Elizabeth. Zach and Liz were both godly people, righteous in the sight of the Lord. Zechariah was from the line of Aaron and therefore served with the priestly division of Abijah. Luke says that they observed all the commands and decrees of the Lord blamelessly - but they had no children.
In this chapter, Zechariah is chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to go into the temple and burn incense. While he was in the temple performing his job, an angel shows up, just chilling out on the right side of the altar. Now Zechariah's immediate response was that he was a little freaked out.
But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and a delight to you and many will rejoice because of his birth." Did you catch that?? I must have read it a hundred times in my life before I paid attention... you see, the angel said "Your prayer has been heard."
Now, I have not faced the hardship of infertility, but I have watched while many of friends struggle with the emotional turmoil that comes along with infertility. I can only imagine that Elizabeth and Zechariah's heartache and pain was just as deep - but God had not forgotten them, God had not turned a deaf ear to their prayer. He just simply had a better plan!!!
Now, some of you might not know the rest of the story. I'll skip some of the details and get to the point - Elizabeth did have a son, even though she was past the age of child bearing. She gave birth to a son named John and just has the angel had said to Zechariah, He brought many of the people of Israel back to the Lord. God commissioned him to go on before Jesus and prepare the way of the Lord. You might know him as John the Baptist.
Had God answered Elizabeth and Zechariah's prayer in their timing - a huge chunk of the story would have been missing; prophecies left unfilled and hundreds would have never heard the gospel. And their son would have been robbed the blessing of being the one who baptised the Son of God and served Him with his whole life.
God has a plan - and His plan is infinitely better than mine. God knows my heart.... but He also knows my pain and believe me, my friends, when I say I do not hurt in vain. God knows what is around the corner and it will be bigger and better than I can plan for myself - and God will bless me for my obedience and desire to serve Him.
So maybe, just maybe, you are hurting too - or maybe you are struggling with what it means to rely on God and His plans for your life - or maybe you are relying on God and the wait just seems to be so long.... if you are, take heart, God has a plan.
1 Corinthians 2:9:
However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—
