Following the typical route for any given entry in my blog, God has been working on something in my heart for the past days - there is something that urges me to write, but I can't quite seem to find the words. Often times, when I sit to write, I have many scattered thoughts but no direct sense of what I am trying to say. I think that God uses writing to help me make sense of what He is trying to teach me. As I reflect on this - I see how it wasn't until I started using a prayer journal in day-to-day life that my relationship with God became personal and intimate. So, giving the same disclaimer as before, this could be messy... but while I hope that this is encouraging for those who read it, I realize that my number one "follower" already knows the words before I type them.
God is teaching me a lot about patience lately, not just about waiting, but about true patience and the peace that accompanies this very difficult virtue. In my life, I am coming to a point where I can define patience as "a willingness to fully trust God while waiting for His will."
Now, you see, the difference in my life between waiting and patience is this important key factor of "fully trusting God." Now for many years, I have been good at waiting... but while I wait, I figure out what I am sure must be God's next step for my life so that way, when he finally reveals that to me - I am already one step ahead of Him. To the outsider looking in, it might appear that I have been patient, but in reality I have failed to trust my God to know and execute what is best for me. And in the process, I have missed out on some really awesome opportunities - including some extremely personal fellowship with God.
In the past few weeks, there is a continuous stirring in my heart that says "abide in Me.” I feel that God is calling to me, saying stop figuring out the future, stop trying to tend to the things that I already have taken care of and just abide in me, rest in My will for your life; take today and live it for me and I will take care of tomorrow. These words remind me of Jesus' teaching in John and as I look through John 15, I am reminded that patience cannot come on my own.
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
"If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. (John 15:4-6)
I am kind of astonished as I read this - I am overly familiar with this passage, but there it is - plain as day. The branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine! And what are the fruits of the Spirit? Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Meekness and Self-Control (if my memory of Steve Green's children's song serves me correctly).
I read verse six and think about how many times I feel so dried up and ready to be burned, infact - i use the term "burnt out." Its because I am trying to wait for God on my own accord instead of having patience by abiding in Him. Jesus not only promises us patience but all of the fruit of the Spirit if we simply abide in Him, including His peace for the unknown road ahead.
I learn as I write thus changing the point of my blog, however, you are probably wondering who Herbet the Snail is... When I started writing this blog about patience, I was reminded back to my high school years. In highschool and throughout college, my girlfriends and I would sing this song to each other repeatedly - it usually was in regards to our frustrations with boys and we would remind ourselves to be patient. As God has been convicting me of my need for patience the past few days, this song as come to mind once again. And now, while our frustations and need for patience comes from all types of situations, (sometimes they still involves boys; while my frustrations with boys are often the same as they were 5-10 years ago, their frustrations more often tend to do with the charming, yet annoying, habits of their husbands) the song offers the same message. The song is about a little snail named Herbet and he often has to remind his friends to have patience.
The lyrics goes as such,
"Have Patience, Have Patience.
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient,
You only start to worry.
Remember, Remember, That God is patient too,
So think of all the times that others have to wait for you."
This has gotten rather lengthy - thanks to Herbet the Snail, but I will leave you with this one last verse. God has continually been reminding me that although I can plan my way all that I want, it is God Himself who will establish His Will for my life and life will be far easier for me if only I learn to abide in Him.
The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
learning and growing,
Kathryn
