June 22nd

It was a beautiful summer morning in late June of 2011; Wednesday, the 22^nd, to be exact. The sun was shining and the temps were warm with a cool breeze blowing. I was traveling North on Hwy 63 through Lake City on my way to Frontenac State Park. My mind was going about a million miles a minute processing something that my heart just could not ignore despite my solid efforts, so the drive was a nice. It gave me time to think, to analyze and re-think and over analyze. It gave me time to convince myself yet again that maybe I was right, when I firmly knew I was wrong.  There was a 20 minute detour so my drive was particularly long, but I thought and I prayed and I sang to the radio and I thought some more. I was relieved to finally arrive at the campground and hunt down one of my closest friends.

We spent the morning making pancakes, catching up, laughing, and enjoying life. It was nice to have a break from the crazy-insane, over-stimulating drive. Finally, we decided it was time to work off the pancakes and go for a hike. It was while hiking through Frontenac State Park that I finally came to realization that I couldn't fight this internal struggle anymore and I needed a friend to process with. I had been fighting within my own heart about this topic for quite a while, mostly because I knew if I said anything aloud, I would be challenged to face my fears. I still wasn’t ready to face what I had been avoiding for nearly a month, but I was also tired of striving to make sense of it on my own.  For the past three and half weeks I had been fighting the formation of a friendship. We had met at the end of April, but it wasn’t until the end of May that I really felt like I was constantly struggling to remind myself that I did not want to open up my heart. Yet, I couldn’t seem to forget the situation and move forward. I firmly believe today that it was divine intervention; that all along God knew what He was preparing me for and that this was a huge part of it.  So what was so difficult about this friendship that I was so desperately trying to avoid in my life?? It was 870 miles from home.  I was preparing to leave for Denver in eighteen days for my best friend’s wedding and it was wonderful to go and visit my best friend, but I was fully aware of what this attachment might do to me.

As I sat on the bluffs overlooking Lake Pepin, my friend Piper challenged me by telling me, “I think you have to out there and open your heart up to the idea of Denver.”  I knew she was right, but I was terrified. Denver was not in my plans; I had been fighting that fact for weeks. So, I opened up my heart and allowed myself the friendship. A friendship that has been a monumental blessing to me and an instrument of God’s teaching in my life numerous times in the past year.

Friday, June 22, 2012, my flight landed at MSP around 1:00am. I was exhausted as I made my way towards the EZair parking shuttle. It had been an emotional couple of days and all I wanted to do was sleep. It was around 2:30am when I finally climbed into bed and where I stayed for the next ten hours. I remember waking up and frantically checking my phone. No missed calls – so disappointing. I forced myself out of bed, showered, brushed my teeth, and made my way towards Target. It was my weekend to work and I had been instructed to make Guacamole for the community pig-out fest we always had on the weekends. I checked my phone at least every ten minutes to make sure I hadn’t missed any calls. In a conversation with my dad, he told me to stop going crazy and enjoy my weekend; surely, they wouldn’t call before Monday.  And then, my phone rang – it was my good friend Gretchen calling to tell me that they had called her! And within minutes, my phone rang again… it was them. I had applied for this job in January and it had taken five months to hear anything from them, but now, less than 24 hours after I had interviewed, they were calling to offer me the position. I took some time to look over the benefits and ensure that it was really what I wanted, but I promptly called them back and eagerly accepted the position!

Just one year after I finally agreed to open my heart to going wherever God led me, including Colorado, I was proudly announcing that Denver would be my new home.  It still terrifies me, but I see how God has been working in my heart and preparing me each step of the way. I pray that as He continues to open the doors, that I will be faithful in this new chapter, just as He has always been faithful to me!

New beginnings, new adventures, and new opportunities to grow.  I am so blessed that God continues to shower me with His mercy and His grace. Please continue to pray for me as I search for housing and prepare to say goodbye to the only life I have ever really known. I am confident that this is where God is leading me but I am still so sad to say goodbye to so many things that I love. Pray that God will mold me during this time and that I will use this time, the ending of a chapter, to make much of Him.