Christmas, Expectations and Perceived Failure

Life has been intensely crazy lately. I am increasingly surprised at how fast time flies. Last week, by God's provision, I leased my house out long-term and managed to pack up all of my belongings in only 4 short days. God has opened my eyes to a lot of things in the past several months but especially in the past few weeks; there have been so many things that I have a hard time keeping them all straight in my head. Most of all, God continues to teach me to rely on Him for day-to-day needs and I am truly humbled by how deeply involved God wants to be in my life.

Two weeks ago, I ended a phone conversation feeling confused and overwhelmed by the enormous amount of things running through my head. As I was trying to sort out everything that I was thinking and feeling, I was extremely discouraged. It wasn't a sadness or anxiety, but major discouragement. I learned something about myself that night. I have this entirely horrible habit of labeling things in my life.

In the month of November, while visiting friends in Denver, one of them accused me of focusing too much on labels. My response to this was that labels were not so important to me but rather expectations were. By giving things a title, or a label, you clearly identify what something is, what something is not, and what behaviors are required from those who are involved in that situation. I like knowing what is expected of me. I flourish under structure and expectations give me structure. Now, I don't think that this is a bad thing - in fact, I still think that it is a very good thing to know what others expect from me in various situations of life. However, often times, I set my own expectations about experiences and relationships. When those situations or relationships do not turn out as I expected or anticipated that they would, I am quick to label them with an ugly stamp of "FAILURE." Without giving much thought to the situation or what it was God wanted to accomplish in my life through these circumstances, I quickly cast them aside, regarding them as worthless and labeling them as major failure.

An interesting tidbit of information about this startling behavior in my life is that this is a behavior that I use mostly on myself. I cannot think of a time or situation that I have labeled any of my friends' experiences as “failure” simply because things did not turn out the way either of us had expected. This tidbit of information shows that I still struggle with seeking my value in something other than God; it shows that I am content in believing that as long as I am "successful" in my own expectations then I feel valued. What an atrocious and appalling lie that I have been so quick to believe!! There is so much contentment, satisfaction and joy in being and feeling valued, but feeling valued as a result of a cheap substitute robs me of all of that contentment, satisfaction, and joy. I am not loved because I am valuable - I am valuable because I am loved (and treasured) by the all-powerful God of the universe. When I allow Him to speak truth into my life and seek my value in Him that is the only place I can find contentment and joy. When I seek to find my value in the "success" of my own expectations, I am left feeling empty and discouraged when things to do not go the way I anticipated. When I choose to find my value in God alone, I need not ever be discouraged because my worth never varies. "God expects us to be good stewards of what He has given us but not perfection. He will use your failures just as much as He will use your successes, because without Him - everything is a loss." (Author unknown). You see, my friend, there is no such thing as success or failure when your life is hidden in Christ. God chooses to use everything for our good and His glory when we choose to honor and obey Him with our lives. We may still make mistakes, we will still sin and yes, we will pay the consequences for that sin... but just because something doesn't turn out as you hoped and dreamed it would, doesn't mean that God isn't up to something amazing.

For so long I viewed my life as a road trip. God has equipped me with the things I need like a reliable vehicle, the oil-change, the tire rotation, the fuel, even the snacks. I have viewed myself in the driver’s seat with God in the passenger seat, map in hand, acting as my navigator. And so often I have become frustrated and discouraged when the trip hasn't gone the way I planned (probably because we've had to stop too many times for people to use the bathroom). The scenery isn't what I expected, the distance is longer than I anticipated, I am weary of sitting in the car, and for the life of me I can't find any good music on the radio. But I am learning to see things a different way. Although God does want to navigate my life for me - He has given me this amazing GPS called the Holy Spirit (move aside Garmin). He doesn't need me to drive for Him, He doesn't need me to read the map, He is inviting me to relinquish the wheel and take the passenger seat, to open the sunroof , put on my sunglasses, enjoy the beautiful scenery, feel the warmth of the sunshine and sing along with the radio. He invites me to enjoy the journey if only I will lay my expectations aside and let Him guide the desires of my heart.

God has bigger plans for me than I ever had for myself. The problem is that sometimes I let my expectations and my (selfish) dreams cloud my vision. I don't understand what God is doing so I am quick to stop trusting. But God does not call us to figure out His plan, He calls us to obey. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9). And as confusing as they ways of God may be "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (1 Cor 1:27). A prime example of this is the birth of Christ. As Charlie Sandberg of Faith E-free Church in Ft Collins, CO points out "Jesus' coming was not how anyone expected it to be. Instead of being born in a palace – He was born in a small, damp stable. Instead of coming in glory – He came as a helpless baby. Instead of coming to rule – God came to serve – to rescue – to lay down his life to save your life and my life." The birth of Christ did not meet people's expectations which by my standards would label it as a failure; however, this is not a failure, this is the biggest success of all time. In failing to meet every one's expectations, God still managed to reach down and rescue all of mankind from an eternity spent apart from Him and give us life and joy abundantly.

As you move forward from this Christmas season, I encourage you to enter the New Year by laying down your expectations of 2012 and ask God what He wants to do in you and through you in the year the come!!